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Bedfellows: The Forgotten Daughter

by Bastions

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1.
Empty Vessel 03:21
Polaroid pictures of youth Stretched across an empty room Holding on to what I miss I lost myself writing this The desperate youth tell themselves it isn’t forever But your tongue tastes bitter, and the stink is on your collar I gave up on life after giving up on help So I lie in a bed of scabs where I left myself Let my soul sing Let my spirit fly I wonder what you’re thinking now? Tell me who I was, I can’t accept what I’m becoming Survival was remembering, now survival is forgetting This face frightens me, this face frightens me My father was an Irish gypsy traveller Cruel and kind in equal measures He used to say - “If man is meek, then meeker the man, often in which we punish, and sacrifice the lamb” Oh, anxiety you cruel, cruel lover, you keep fucking me Let my soul sing Let my spirit fly I wonder what you’re thinking now? It hurts that I’m nothing more than a memory Go rot with filth, just like me, just like me Let my soul sing Let my spirit fly I wonder what you’re thinking now?
2.
I’ve spent my life Being screamed at Courage give me heart This time I’m screaming back I want to close this door I find it hard to do To my future self I’m sorry I failed you Be still, be still Every ounce of love I give, would never amount to bliss Palm to palm, wrist to wrist, let me free of this Casual lovers plead for acceptance and dabble in honesty It lies at the bottom of a filled-in well, alone in misery I see you You vulture I see you Not welcome here I’m loveless So loveless If you could be a better poison With every cold and distant look I’ll try to be a better person A bleeding ocean your love I’ve been drowning in your arms Gladly drowning all these years I wish I could let you go But I still hold you close my dear
3.
You dug so deep, so desperately Destroying something right inside of me Covered me in wounds I have to see In your will, I am absent and free This house colours me blue, the same as her lips Though her death strangled your heart, I’m savouring the taste of this She buried her young in the backyard Your love was a house of cards Bring her back from the abyss Scratching myself sick for all of this She called to the sea “come for me, oh comfort me” Take me to another place where the sun won’t meet the sky I’m put away, put away Lock and key, lock and key Just a ghost, a memory Of a foul memory Empty words from empty voices They pull me through, they pull me through Empty words from empty voices They pull me through, they stay the pain She called to the sea “come for me, oh comfort me” Take me to another place where the sun won’t meet the sky
4.
Break, break down control Take, take back your hope I’m not going home there’s too much silence I’m not going home there’s too much silence I’m far too proud to be me, this world is mine as much as it is yours Is your only true love doubt? Is your only true love doubt? I will not let you profit From my pain though I miss your touch I forgive this world, I forgive this world Life burns with a hard flame, it does not blind me The fire in my stomach burns brighter than your shine I stand alone A family gone A broken home All I’ve known I’m not going home there’s too much silence I’m not going home there’s too much silence
5.
I’ve gotten so good at lying to myself I say these things like “don’t go, I need help” And the lines on your face are too much to touch So I breathe and I let your warmth pull me in ‘Til we’re alone, and your okay, and I am washed in my sin Because I can’t find fault in what you do You have me at the heel and I can’t do this without you Can’t do this without you Can’t... There’s no monster under my bed When I realised she was in every word that I said So I sit and I drink, I have nowhere to be And I let this solemn song sing back to me And in spite of my efforts it tears me apart That I fail in removing you from my heart Yes I planned to say all these terrible things In the end I want to tell you that I miss you and it’s killing me “Let me go.” Just murmuring... “Let me go.” Just murmuring...

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released January 27, 2014

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Bastions UK

Bastions are a visceral alternative/hardcore band hailing from the most northern point of Wales.

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